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It has been a while...

  While I sit here at home trying to keep a two-and-a-half year old occupied, as she resists her nap, I struggle with the 20+ extra pounds hanging around my 37-weeks-of-pregnant-stomach...why not get back on the blog action.  After not sleeping from all of the lovely symptoms and struggles of being so huge and pregnant, I offered up some of my limited morning time this week to continue work at a summer daycare in town (and heck, why not?...we could use the money).
  Exhausted after chasing after 35 kids this morning, I come home to a semi-functioning house where my amazing hubby is doing everything he can to keep his tired eyes open and entertain our beautiful daughter. Both of whom are still in their pajamas, and remnants of a rushed breakfast sit on the coffee table, while a movie plays on the TV.  I wonder, how we will ever survive with another child added to our chaos.
  The energy that I have left from the morning goes into picking up the house and running the vacuum around to try and keep the dog hair level down to a minimum before the baby comes home.  I manage to scramble up some eggs and toast a bagel for myself (half of it ends up getting eaten by a hungry hubby and ravenous kiddo...apparently their bowls of cereal just didn't cut it this morning).  I am officially out of energy.
  I am struggling to find the energy or desire to work on any of my homework, even though it is all due tonight at midnight and I have possibly written 300 words for a 1200 word essay for the week (hence the extra procrastination and blogging).  I find myself feeling crazy guilty for throwing yet another movie on the TV to suck the energy level down from the ever insane 2 year old. Yet, I feel that this is the only way that I can remain in a seated position for more than five minutes, to avoid the feeling of crazy pressure on my hips and pelvis when I stand.
  The hubby works afternoons, late into the night...well past bed time for the little one.  This leaves me to do all of the afternoon, bed time, bath time, book reading...(the list goes on and on really...), all by my giant-exhausted self (hella props to the single parents out there!).  So needless to say there is WAY too much acceptable screen-time in the house for me to feel as if I am doing this mom thing right.  Time to end the guilt train...
  I know in my heart and my head, that this is only temporary until after our little man arrives on the scene, but it is still so hard for me to come to terms that I might need a second to occupy my time with something that doesn't involve cleaning up after children, adults, dogs, or doing homework of any kind.  I receive so much encouragement from my husband and friends to do things that I enjoy, but finding a second of time to do something for myself tends to be the biggest challenge.
  My house will never be clean for longer than a half hour, until the kids are grown.  My homework will be never ending until I actually graduate this winter.  The exhaustion will not end...ever.  My husband will continue to try his hardest to keep things under control...even though it is futile.  I will always be a working mom...there is simply no other way.  I. Must. Find. Time. For. Me.  So as I try to pull myself together long enough to cook dinner, I want to send a reminder to all of the moms and dads out there, trying to make it happen.

  You're in this forever. You will always be a parent.  But, you will always be human.  Making time for you is critical to your sanity.  To your family.  To your children.  Lose the guilt you may feel from what the acceptable norm may be.  Find something that makes you feel more human, even when it feels as if you can't get out from the craziness rut.

  Plus...check out the rest of the blog...there are actually some good recipes on here from the last time I though I should give this a try.  Maybe I can provide some inspiration to you along the way...but this is for me and my sanity.

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